mawthook (mawthook) wrote in c_w_christ,

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Worrying about loneliness

Worry; the contemplation of the day. Worry about money. Worry about food. Worry about housing. Worry about loneliness. Loneliness and aloneness are the fodder at the moment. We are told, “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink…” (Matt. 6:25) and “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God.” (Phil. 4:6) and “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matt. 6:33). I’ve been dealing with casting my cares on Jesus ever since I became unable to run my businesses and effectively support my family and myself. Being disabled and a single parent is a hard row to hoe.
I’ve gone from healthy and busy, prospering at running 6 business with my (now ex) husband, body building in my own gym in a house a designed myself and had built, interacting with and meeting new people in the heart of Halifax on a daily basis; to living in rural, or should I say remote Nova Scotia, separated from friends and family who have either moved away or still have their very busy lives and really don’t have the time or inclination to socialize with someone who ‘doesn’t have a life’, unable to hold down a full time job which would not only help financially but also on the social level. I love the life style out here in the sticks. I love the wood stove, the fire pit out back, the quietness, the stars that are not hidden because of light pollution, the walks along the logging trails, the waterfalls down at the river, the deer who come and eat in the field outside my bedroom window, but it involves hard work (chopping and lugging wood, shoveling snow, mowing extensive lawn) and doing it alone uses all the resource I have.
I do a very precarious balancing act. I work when I can and when I can find it, I take care of my house, myself and my son, who is a teenager now and really doesn’t require much care other than constantly nagging him to clean up after himself. I get to church and choir practice when I haven’t burned myself out with the other stuff. I make wine and enjoy sipping a glass now and then in the evenings. I’m pretty good at the scroll saw but lack marketing skills, and as far as a social life goes… I don’t even know where to begin. I feel that there is no forum in my life for meeting new people to do things with. All I’m left with is trusting God. I know He is more than able. He has proven that over and over again in my life. So does His care for us also cover the social aspects? I know we were not created to be alone (Gen. 2:18) and I know that even the inspiration to do those things which will bring about answered prayer comes from Him, so trust Him I will. With prayer and supplication and thanksgiving… Lord, inspire me, straighten my path, fill my life with purpose and loved ones and thank you for the friends and neighbors I have now. Let me come boldly to the throne of grace (Heb. 4:16) and obtain from You a multitude of counselors for there I will find safety (Proverbs 11:14).
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